Emails Unfiltered

Stop Tweeting Your @ss Off!

40billion

Stop it. You claim to be a successful Internet entrepreneur (“Started by Yale & MIT grad who became an entrepreneur at 10”), yet you break the most basic rule of social media — don’t flood people. Especially with twenty of more “Say of the Day”s in one day.

It kinda looses effect.

Funny WordPress Trackback

Funniest trackback excerpt yet, WhatIsFashion.Net:

I like your article.Your article is like a big tree, so that we can squat in your tree, feel yourself a real. I feel very moved, very eudaemonia….

Small Business Commerce Association (SBCA)

 

The person this was addressed to hasn’t been in business for nearly 10 years.  A short Google search will show this is a scam company, selling vanity awards.

Congratulations Ernie Reid ,

The Small Business Commerce Association (SBCA) is pleased to announce that Ernie Reid has been selected for the 2010 Best of Business Award in the Unclassified category.

The SBCA Best of Business Award Program recognizes the best of small businesses throughout the country. Using consumer feedback and other research, the SBCA identifies companies that we believe have demonstrated what makes small businesses a vital part of the American economy. The selection committee chooses the award winners from nominees based off information taken from monthly surveys administered by the SBCA, a review of consumer rankings, and other consumer reports . Award winners are a valuable asset to their community and exemplify what makes small businesses great. 

A copy of your press release is available on the SBCA awards website listed below. SBCA herby grants Ernie Reid a non-exclusive, revocable, license to use, copy, publish, stream, publicly display, reformat, excerpt, and distribute  this press release. If you desire, a 2010 Best of Business Award has been designed for your place of business and can be obtained by pressing the receive awards tab while retrieving your press release from the SBCA awards website. Additionally, a Web Logo proclaiming your 2010 Best of Business Award selection can be obtained through our website as well.

As an award winner, you have been assigned the following award code: 10-0FTNHD.

This code may be used to redeem your award benefits by entering it into the SBCA Awards Claim page.  Or, alternatively, you may use the following link: 

http://main.smallbusinesscommerceassociation.org/2010-sbca-award-welcome/?awardCode=10-0FTNHD

Once again, congratulations on your selection and we wish you the best of luck in the future.

Sincerely,

The SBCA Selection Committee

SBCA Seal


This email contains special information intended only for the owners or operators of Ernie Reid. To prevent further notifications and advertisements, please follow the steps outlined below. If you no longer wish to receive our emails please use the following link:

http://www.smallbusinesscommerceassociation.org/optout.aspx

Or, you may send an Opt-Out request to the following address:

Attn: Compliance Manager
Small Business Commerce Association
548 Market St # 35785
San Francisco, CA 94104, USA

You keep send me email, but all I read is blah-blah-blah.

That’s right, I’m talking to you.

This is a note to apologize for not “passing on” or “sending back” your lovely animated, huge-lettered poems with midi music, or free offers for computers and trips to Disney or a cure for some non-existent little girl’s illness if your email gets sent to millions of other people, who also apparently do not realize there’s no such thing as an “email tracking system”.

If you don’t get them back and no one gets them forwarded from me, I assure you it doesn’t mean you’re not my friend, I hate America, or don’t love Jesus. I just don’t beleive in using email for the sake of itself, i.e. chain mail fueled by the imposition of bad luck or guilt.

I forgive you, if you forgive me, but think of it this way. If you had to put a 29cent stamp on every email you sent to each person (plus and extra $2 for every blaring midi music nightmare that springs upon friend and foe alike without warning), would you send it? Would you take the time to call the 144 people in your address book about it, realizing afterward you haven’t spoken to half of them for over a year? Is the best thing you can say to them after missing their last five birthdays “reply back and pass this poorly constructed sonnet about teddy bears on to 10 people or you don’t care about me”?

Would they really want to cry over Santa visiting a veteran on Christmas Eve more than the joy (and surprise) of YOU actually visiting THEM?

Yes, that’s what forgotten relatives, long-lost friends, and your insurance agent and lawyer really want out of life – finding in their inbox jokes about how cold it is in Buffalo, reprints of misinformed urban-legend editorialists, and poems about God and angels, smiles and hugs, and just plain weird recycled commentaries on things like “In God we Trust” and 9-11. And they REALLY love opening an email attachment within an email attachment times ten just to reassure themselves that you sent it to them for a good reason. It’s like opening a huge box containing a box and so forth until you’re left with a ring-sized box, only to find a turd in it.

Remember, only you can prevent forest fires and chain letters.

If you like the people in your address book that much, maybe you should send them a fruit basket or something. (Guilt of the plank in my own eye ensues.) I dunno – maybe you should CALL THEM. But mass email is the ultimate excuse to not feel guilty for not staying in touch. But I’m sure an email that has nothing to do with you or them addressed to 100 people does the trick, right? And one million more email copies of “Footsteps” with Michael Row the Boat Ashore thumping and clicking in the background wont hurt anybody, right?

But without this wondrous medium what would you do? You would have to carry copies of chain letters and cartoons on floppy disk around so you could share the wealth of your everyday existence, because obviously more happens at the keyboard than your living room or front door.
It’s funny beacuse it’s true.

It’s sad because it’s true.
{Reprint from LiveJournal entry December 6th, 2004}

Yahoo! Phishing

This one even uses a graphic from Google Images at the end, LOL.

Account     Information

Case Number: 8941624
Property: Account Security
Contact date: 19-08-2010
 

   Full Name:………………………

Username:……………………….
Passwor  :………………………..
Date Of Birth:……………………
Occupation:……………………..
Country Of Residence:……….
We are really sorry for any inconvenience this might cause you.

Regards,

  

Iraqi Stash, but Really Nigerian

This scam is similar to what I expect f rom my Skype buddy pretending to be a brigadier general in Iraq.

  Hello,

Good day and compliments, I know this letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine my future and continued existence. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Lt. Ken William, a US Army serving in the 3rd Infantry Division in Iraq.

I am desperately in need of assistance and I have summoned up courage to contact you, presently am in Iraq and I found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your assistance to evacuate some funds which was stashed in a Trunk Box, to the States or any safe country of your choice; as far as I can be assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here. This is no stolen money and there are no dangers involved.

SOURCE OF MONEY:
Some money in various currencies was discovered and concealed in barrels with piles of weapons and ammunition at a location near one of Saddam Hussein’s old Presidential Palaces in Tikrit Iraq, during a rescue operation, view the link below for verification.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm

It was agreed by all parties present that the money be shared amongst us. Although, some were reported to be sent back.
This might appear as an illegal but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this hell hole. I have now found a secured way of getting the package out of Iraq for you to pick up. I do not know for how long I will remain here as I have been lucky to have survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by Pure Divine intervention. This and other reasons put into consideration have prompted me to reach out for help.

If it might be of interest to you then endeavor to contact me and we would work out the necessary formalities but I pray that you are discreet about this mutually benefiting relationship.
Should you have any reason to reject this offer, please and please delete this message immediately, as any leakage of this information will be detrimental to the US soldiers here in Iraq and especially to me.

Seriously, I want you to help me.

Waiting,
Lt. Ken William

IRS Spoofing for Mal-ware

Remember, anyone can say they are sending mail from any address.  Of course, the misspelling of “submission” and a lack of understanding what a W-2 doesn’t help their cause …

From: Internal Revenue Service [noreply@irs.gov]
Subject: W-2 form update
Attachments: w2form.doc (88 KB)

We would like to inform you that as of the 16th of June
you are late in updating your W-2 form submition with the new updated version. Please send us your completed W-2 update form by 01/07/2010. The updated version of the W-2 form is attached to this message.

Internal Revenue Service

 And then you open it (the Word document itself is harmless):

But the object itself, actually named “Copy of p5020.exe” is the virus / mal-ware.

Email Account “Warning” Phishing

I get a lot of these lately.  Seriosuly, people, if they ask for information they should already know, it’s obviously a scam.  Reminds me of phone scams where they ask you to verify your credit card information and full SS number.

From: Louise Collins [LCollins@clarku.edu]
Subject: Your Mail Box Quota Has Exceeded The Set Limit
Your mailbox has exceeded the storage limit which is 20GB as set by your administrator, you are currently running on 20.9GB,
you may not be able to send or receive new mail until you re-validate your mailbox.
To re-validate your mailbox  please click the link below:
If the link above does not work please copy and paste the link below to your browser window
Thanks
Louise Collins
System Administrator

And

From: hgadisman@djusd.k12.ca.us
To: info@team.com
Subject: MAILBOX UPDATE

Attn: Faculty/Staff/Students,

This is to inform you that your mailbox will soon be de-activated by your System Administrator due to an unusual activity detected in your mailbox. We noticed that webmail account has been compromised by spammers. It seems they have gained access to webmail accounts and have been using it for illegal internet activities. The center is currently performing maintenance and upgrading it’s data base. We intend upgrading our Email Security Server for better online services hence you may not be able to receive new mail until your mailbox is upgraded. Please Click the link below to validate your mailbox and upgrade your account.

http://seaccouted.4-all.org If your mailbox becomes de-activated for an extended period of time, it may result in further limitations or eventual closure of your mailbox. The information contained in this e-mail may be confidential and is intended solely for the use of the named addressee. Access, copying or re-use of the e-mail or any information contained herein by any other person is not authorized.

Attn: Faculty/Staff/Students,

This is to inform you that your mailbox will soon be de-activated by your System Administrator due to an unusual activity detected in your mailbox. We noticed that webmail account has been compromised by spammers. It seems they have gained access to webmail accounts and have been using it for illegal internet activities. The center is currently performing maintenance and upgrading it’s data base. We intend upgrading our Email Security Server for better online services hence you may not be able to receive new mail until your mailbox is upgraded. Please Click the link below to validate your mailbox and upgrade your account.

… the link of which takes you to:

And one for the road …

From: System Administrator [selena@selena.net.ua]
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Subject: Dear User

Dear User,
Your mailbox has exceeded the storage limit which is 20GB as set by your
administrator, you are currently running on 20.9GB, you may not be able to
receive some new mail until you re-validate your mailbox.
To re-validate your mailbox please click the link below:

Note: If the link above didn’t work please send below information to thesystem administrator email address: accupdate00@w.cn

First Name:…………..

Last Name:……………

E-mail:………………

Users Name:…………..

Password:…………….

Thanks
System Administrator

 

 

http://systemupgrad.admin/mail

The War on Digital Terror

{Published November 16th, 2004, not sent directly to actual senators}

Dear Senators:

If there were to be an attack on America, one that would disrupt the economy and the lives of countless millions of people, resulting in billions of dollars in damage to American businesses and governments, would you want to know?

What if I was to tell you that it’s too late? As you are reading this, we are now under attack. I am not talking of cyber-terrorists and hackers, but about businesses whose only gain is in jamming the Internet with mass marketing, intrusive data-gathering, and even wholesale computer hijacking in the name of profit.

American companies spent over $10 Billion dollars last year in lost productivity and security measures to prevent “spam” from disrupting communications on every level, from consumer ISPs to municipal networks. Even nuclear-attack-resistant datacenters are no longer safe, because the attack they must be ready for is no longer military in nature. But as in military technology, the war is never over, as software is developed to counter software systems that counter more software.

We are losing the war, as such a basic medium as email is becoming impossible to use for some. Apart from destruction of physical and intellectual property, breaches in such things as confidentiality, security, and identity are at constant risk, and are compromised on a scale never before possible.

The enemy has a name. We know who they are. They route traffic through mainland China and other countries to skirt the laws that can’t be passed fast enough to keep up, and yet many are American citizens, living in America. And many are mere shadows, erasing their tracks and only leaving an occasional consumer making a payment in the wake of out-of-control marketing where all the burden is on the country’s mail systems and the receivers of the messages, not the senders.

But this is a threat because Information Technology is the battlefront of our times. From e-Government and electronic health care record initiatives that will save countless lives and dollars, to a booming economy in every sector and supply chain, an attack in these areas can stagnate or even devastate our communications and economy in the long-term.

My point of this letter is not to debate a special interest topic, like global warming or tobacco lawsuits. This issue underpins everything in our lives. In the last few years, humanity has reached a benchmark more significant than the splitting of the atom. There is nothing that can stop the drive for total communications and access to all the world’s information everywhere and at all times. The Internet, modern phone systems, and networks that are yet to come will form a nebulous cloud of interconnected computers, communications devices, document systems, and appliances in all areas of modern life, private and commercial. It has already started – you can see it all around you. There may still be paper, but the paper age is clearly over. In other words, our lifeline to each other is no longer the Eisenhower Thruway System and telephone wires. Fiber optical cable and radio towers – not copper and asphalt – measure the true distance between our citizens and between us and the rest of the world.

Now I do not think it is inherently the government’s responsibility to fix problems in the commercial sector. However, the Internet is larger than any company, industry, or nation, and affects every citizen in every aspect of our lives, from freedom of speech, press, and assembly, as well as access to information, goods and services. This is a new way of life for America and the world, a way of life that is – and has been – under constant attack.

What I do ask is that government acknowledge the need for particular attention paid to this problem, which is perhaps a important as or similar to the need for a homeland security bureau. We must hunt down those who would constantly threaten this important aspect of our growing way of life as seriously as those who would do us physical harm in sporadic acts of terrorism.

Foster a commercial environment that would encourage consensus among the leaders of industry and information technology for standards of prevention. Create a legal climate that would impose extreme criminal penalties upon those who are found responsible for the dissemination of hostile code and unwarranted web traffic. Remember, they are not killing one person, but something perhaps much more serious – they are cumulatively taking away literally thousands of lifetimes of moments and effort from everyday people. Pursue such initiatives as rewards for hunters and finger-pointers of such companies and people, taken from the confiscation of all their assets. Hold companies, domestic and foreign, equally accountable for third-party marketing practices.

But do not wait to act. The leaders of the technology sector are doing what they can, but are not winning the war. The federal government must be their ally. The country is counting on them – and you – to save us from this unprecedented threat to the world’s potentially unprecedented prosperity.

Sincerely,

Ken JP Stuczynski