You might want to copypasta this for use in Social Media …

n00b on a whiteboard

n00b on a whiteboard (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dear:
[_] Clueless n00b
[_] Lamer
[_] Flamer
[_] Pervert
[_] Sexist
[_] Spammer
[_] Racist
[_] Dumbass
[X] Waste of Life
[_] Other: __________________

You are being flamed because:
[X] You obviously don´t know anything about the topic at hand.
[X] You started a pointless thread.
[_] You bumped a pointless thread.
[_] Your post contained nothing but crap.
[_] You can´t spell more than 3 words right.
[_] Your awful markup made the post unreadable.
[X] You made a useless assumption.
[_] You posted IN ALL CAPS FOR NO APPARENT REASON.
[_] YoU tYpEd SoMeThInG lAmE lIkE tHiS.
[_] You say you´re “1337”.
[_] You posted a topic that´s been posted 50 times already.

As punishment, you must:
[X] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea of what you´re doing.
[_] Stab yourself in the eye with a pen.
[_] Give up your internet account.
[_] Eat paint chips for the next 6 months.
[X] Make goatse.cx your home page.
[_] Jump into a bathtub with a toaster.